A One-on-One is a relationship-building basic. It’s how you listen for potential problems that people may either not be aware of yet or be afraid to address, and a way to sort out things you can do to better serve those you lead.
Best practices
- Schedule them ahead of time. A regular frequency means you don’t miss anyone, and scheduling prevents apprehension or fear that they “did something.” It’s a manifestation of Clarity is Kindness.
- Hold them with regular frequency. Normalize the act of communication. Make it something looked forward to, not feared.
- Take notes and act on them. If concerns or solutions come up, write them down and act. Apply the solution to the system so people feel rewarded for participating — this builds trust and pushes back cynicism.
- Listen and encourage. This is their space to open up. It’s not the place to address pre-existing concerns unless they bring them up. Let them lead; offer questions and lighthearted guidance.
How to give a One-on-One
- Reach out to schedule. Make it an ask, not a demand — consent to talk matters. Secure a time on the calendar.
- Make sure everyone is comfortable. A private space, an offer of food or drink, no pressure or rush.
- Be prepared with your notebook.
- Thank them and explain what a One-on-One is: “This is a time for us to just chat and talk. We can talk about whatever you want. One-on-ones aren’t about anything in particular — just providing the space for us to make sure we understand each other.”
- Ask good questions: “How have you been doing since our last one-on-one?” · “Are things going smoothly with everyone at work?” · “What do you feel passionate about right now? Is there anything we can do to help you pursue that?” · “Do you feel well supported by the team?” · “Do you have any feedback for me or anything on your mind?”
- Identify and explore problems. If something concerning comes up, use the Communication Protocol: Introspection to find the right questions, Mutual Understanding to see how they feel and why, then a Solution that can be applied (improving communication, changing perception, making a plan, or building a tool/habit). Follow up to see how it’s working.
- Thank them genuinely for being brave and vulnerable enough to share. It isn’t easy and can take a lot of energy.
- Follow up and act on anything you promised. Not following through damages credibility; following through builds trust.