# One-on-Ones: Leadership Tool 1 of 4

> Regular, proactive check-ins to build trust, catch issues early, and grow relationships. The relationship-building basic: how you listen for problems people may not be aware of yet or are afraid to raise.

## Desired outcomes

- Sensing and addressing problems
- Establishing regular and healthy communication
- Relationship building

## When to use it

- Regularly at predictable intervals (every month is a good rule of thumb)
- A behavior that seems unhealthy but doesn't break a rule and isn't specific enough for a Targeted Conversation
- Someone being generally sad but still performing their job well
- Seeming to engage less with others, or losing interest and motivation

A One-on-One is a relationship-building basic. It's how you listen for potential
problems that people may either not be aware of yet or be afraid to address, and a way
to sort out things you can do to better serve those you lead.

## Best practices

- **Schedule them ahead of time.** A regular frequency means you don't miss anyone, and scheduling prevents apprehension or fear that they "did something." It's a manifestation of *Clarity is Kindness*.
- **Hold them with regular frequency.** Normalize the act of communication. Make it something looked forward to, not feared.
- **Take notes and act on them.** If concerns or solutions come up, write them down and act. Apply the solution to the system so people feel rewarded for participating; this builds trust and pushes back cynicism.
- **Listen and encourage.** This is *their* space to open up. It's not the place to address pre-existing concerns unless they bring them up. Let them lead; offer questions and lighthearted guidance.

## How to give a One-on-One

1. **Reach out to schedule.** Make it an ask, not a demand; consent to talk matters. Secure a time on the calendar.
2. **Make sure everyone is comfortable.** A private space, an offer of food or drink, no pressure or rush.
3. **Be prepared** with your notebook.
4. **Thank them and explain what a One-on-One is:** *"This is a time for us to just chat and talk. We can talk about whatever you want. One-on-ones aren't about anything in particular, just providing the space for us to make sure we understand each other."*
5. **Ask good questions:** *"How have you been doing since our last one-on-one?" · "Are things going smoothly with everyone at work?" · "What do you feel passionate about right now? Is there anything we can do to help you pursue that?" · "Do you feel well supported by the team?" · "Do you have any feedback for me or anything on your mind?"*
6. **Identify and explore problems.** If something concerning comes up, use the Communication Protocol: Introspection to find the right questions, Mutual Understanding to see how they feel and why, then a Solution that can be applied (improving communication, changing perception, making a plan, or building a tool/habit). Follow up to see how it's working.
7. **Thank them genuinely** for being brave and vulnerable enough to share. It isn't easy and can take a lot of energy.
8. **Follow up** and act on anything you promised. Not following through damages credibility; following through builds trust.

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Part of the Solution Seeking System (https://solutionseeking.com) by David & Shannon Baxter, Beanchain Coffee LLC. Please attribute quotations to the Solution Seeking System.